Tobys Lynx (Toby)

Kaboom Eventing Supporters

Kaboom Eventing Supporters
Thank you all!

Swank Dezign

Swank Dezign
Kaboom Eventing's 1st home bred!

Swain Song (Swainy)

Swain Song (Swainy)
Swain is currently in foal to Tzigane *Pb* due: April 2012

!Kaboom Eventing Blooper Reel!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

You have just opened the door to the Kaboom Eventing Blooper Reel. All of the gag footage that was once lost, you have just found. Enjoy!

~the photos range from 2006-2011 and are in no particular order~

To our wonderful photographers:
Tommy Weekes, Terrie Hatcher, and Jim Stoner
who are there for all times good and bad.


important notice: no humans or equines were injured in the making of these photos.


Time to work on that drift right.

Game over. Ya, that's a 1' brush ramp.

Note to self: to win game of chicken with white flag: ALWAYS SWERVE RIGHT!

From 450 mpm to 0 mpm. No bueno.

No comment.

Sometimes you have to give your horsie an enthusiastic spank if your afraid of a XC fence!

Jake is excited to go on a trail ride!

Yup, Toby racked up 20 faults at the smallest XC fence on the BN course.

The donkey did it.


Nap time is the best time.

Cheeze! (Boom smiles for the COTH Adult Team picture)

Do over.

That is correct, I have no left leg.

My bad.

I wondered why we always ran into trees on course.

It's always five o'clock at Fortnight Ranch.


"Ahhh, There are flowers under that jump!"

Nose dive.

Noble's 1st jump school. Negative on the fun factor. Noble later went on to win many HTs at the T and P levels with Kadi Eykamp. His lowest score was an 18.

Cow Pony Chronicles Part II

Friday, May 20, 2011

Cow Pony Extraordinaire, [aka Toby] speaking.

It's been a while since my last blog and a lot has happened in my life. Ahhhh, the highs and lows of being the most awesome competition horse Kristen has ever worked with has taken its toll on me. I have mixed emotions concerning work load and lots of aches and pains in muscles that I didn't even know existed!

Here we go--for starters I'll do a quick time line breakdown of 2011 happenings...

Jan/Feb: Kristen started working me consistently and I was greatly enjoying the benefits of becoming the number one sport horse on the farm. The grey horse and the mule left in January and never came back. Kristen pointed at me told me that she was having a "clearance sale so I better mind my manners". Yikes!

So I promptly won two combined tests and also finished in the ribbons at a third.

March: I competed in my first recognized USEA event (Beginner Novice Level) at Texas Rose Horse Park.

Kristen also took me to a few cross country schooling days at which I jumped so hard that my butt hurt for days afterward. We'll spend some time talking about this issue.

April: I visited Dr. Davis at Reata Equine Hospital for a "tune-up".

May: The games begin again.

OK. Now, my honest APHAwesomeness opinion.

APHAwesomeness date: Late Feb and March.

Well, it turns out this life is really hard work. {{sigh}} Everyday I'm expected to dish out lots of APHAwesomeness. I've started to lag behind on work ethic and I felt the need to to create the APHAwesomeness Diagonal. The Awesomeness Diagonal is very much like the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal - aka - "Hot/Crazy Scale" illustrated in a How I Met Your Mother episode.

Please watch this short informational video:

Hot/Crazy Scale

Just like the "Hot/Crazy Scale", I have my very own "Worth The Hugs and Cookies? Scale".

There is a point on the “Worth the Hugs and Cookies? Scale" where work ethic (or positive effort expenditure on my part) exceeds the worth of hugs and cookies. My APHAwesomeness breaking point is about ¾ of the way up the diagonal or just in front of a novice XC box.

See below:

Thus far I have proved to be a champion at the local combined tests by bringing home the blue at several shows and always placing 1st after dressage. When jumping I have to use my best judgment and determine positive efforts according to my “Worth the Hugs and Cookies?” Scale. Also in this situation the type of cookie is a major determining factor as to how much effort is put forth by “Your’s Truly”.

For example:

A Little Debbie Oatmeal Crème pie cookie

is worth many Novice boxes and even a small Training level combination. Where-as a sucky peppermint horse cookie

is worth only the enough effort to jump Beginner Novice fences-- and maybe if I’m feeling generous, one Novice fence.

Unfortunately for Kristen, she only brought lousy regular horse cookies to my first recognized horse trial, therefore I felt the need to punish her by pulling a rail in show jumping.

But! aah HA HA HA! I chose wisely by knocking down the 2nd fence in a 3 fence combination so that I at least had the “hard technical combo excuse” to roll on.

Cross country was quite fun so I galloped and jumped generously for her 90% of the time on course. I did stop at a log after the water complex for particular reasons and I’m still getting grief about the refusal. What Kristen didn’t know is that I SWEAR I saw a snake by the log. She blames it on APH poor work ethic (or in my words, lack of good cookies) but there was a snake--really. I ran far away from the log until the snake had slithered away. I needed to protect my rider!!

I remember it very very clearly, it had blood sucking fangs and hissed a raspy evil hiss. It looked something like this:

Although I am entertaining the idea that maybe the snake was merely a hallucination because I was out of breath and my butt was burning so badly that I may have started to see visions of boogie critters.

Paint horses are loyal to their riders and when we see boogie critters (snakes) or aliens on or under a cross country obstacle we have an unspoken duty to carry our riders far away to safety until the scary situation resolves itself—or until the aches in our muscles subside.

I was having trouble with muscle soreness at Texas Rose Horse Park and I even pulled the muscle in my right butt cheek while on course (possibly when I executed my Grand Champion reining horse sliding stop).

Luckily, I have great humans and they gave me lots of massages and stretching exercises. Kristen stopped jumping me and told me until I’m feeling better we will have to do only flat work in the field and work with hills and trot poles. She also became really pushy and started making me move my hind end all over the place by poking me in the sides with those huge spurs she wears. I overheard her calling them “Pig Stickers” one day.

I was fairly insulted with the term (unlike bovines, I'm pretty sure pigs can’t jump 4 foot from a standstill) and would rather not be compared to such a creature. Look, look at this poor lowly creature. I almost feel sorry for it.

But, she gave me some peppermints and I granted her my forgiveness.

In April we went to Reata Equine Hospital for a vet visit. This place was terrible. Dr. Davis is my PCP and he usually comes to see me at the farm but this time Kristen said I needed to go to his home base. And for the record, I don't want to leave the farm to see him ever, ever again. He knocked me out, wrapped a chain around the tip of my nose, and then—well, I don’t know what because the chain caused me to have hallucinations of boogie critters and snakes for a short time and when I woke up I was at home in my stall. humph. "Oatmeal Crème Pie Cookies, please??"

This was followed by 4 weeks of vacation with no cookies.

Warp ahead to APHAwesomeness date: May

Since my trip to Reata I have been feeling like a million bucks! I’ve competed in two jumper shows at which I won ribbons in EVERY jumping class (ribbons are not as good as Oatmeal Crème Pie Cookies, BTW) and I’ve also finished another combined test.

Kristen finally took me cross country schooling again and I felt really really great. No back aches, no pains in my hocks, and my stifles were not pinching me AT ALL. I jumped really well because she gave me some pretty decent treats before hand. The treats were high enough on the scale that I even tackled the training level bank (jump up, one stride, jump down--the down portion sported a log on the lip of the bank) without issue for her.

I love banks, so I've decided that positive effort output for them does not rely on the APHAwesomess Scale. I'll jump banks for free.

This is it for now. Apparently there has been a very very bad horsie flu outbreak called EHV-1 and all shows in Texas have been put on hold. No jumper shows for me this month.

Thank you for reading my 2nd APH-AWESOMENESS Chronicle and stay tuned.
Yours truly, Toby, cow pony extraordinaire.

My Top Five Methods Used to Catch Equines

Thursday, February 3, 2011

You may think this blog is a little out of sort for me considering most of my blogs are usually discussing my most recent Kaboom Eventing experiences. These days Toby the Cow Pony calls dibs on all of the good topics, therefore I am forced to dig down deep into my Mary Poppins bag to find some odd knowledge or experience to discuss.

Please understand that the idea for this topic came to me while I was pondering writing a blog discussing how middle age woman run themselves into a state of poverty by purchasing products from midnight infomercials. A last minute decision drew me away from health and beauty and towards an equestrian topic. So, I hope you are happy with my final choice. What is that? Me? Infomercials? Well I am just as much a victim as the rest of us. I guess I should add that right now I’m soaking in two times the amount of recommended Skin So Soft, reminding myself that it is time for me to purchase another set of Sheer Cover make-up, happily starring at my new batch of Stem Cell Therapy facial cream and softly stroking my cheek wondering if the Arbonne toner that I applied only yesterday has really made my face feel like a baby's butt over night. So yes, I too am a victim of those midnight infomercials. But my favorite topics are those that involve horses.

So here we go:

The Top 5 Methods I use to catch my equines:

I have found over the past many years of training horses that the best way to really make an impact is to set up situations which force them to make their own mistakes. Catching them is no different.


My first horse was a small chestnut trakehner mare out of a polish stallion named Sobek. She was the old school, hot, annoying araby type of Trakehner. I bought the mare as an 8 year old after riding her for a year in a lesson program. This was my first mistake—good lesson horses are never for sale. Noted. One of her many vices was loading. The moment she saw the trailer she would turn around and run away. The mare had a mule-like way of running off and even grown men could not hold on to her! So I learned to always load her with a chain, not just over the nose but under her top lip as a war bridle. When equipped with the war bridle Sigal behaved perfectly and loaded into any trailer without issue. This was a sneaky little trick on her part. Due to great behavior, every once in a while I would give her the benefit of loading with only the chain over her nose. One would have thought that I might learn not to do this the first several times it backfired. But no, I’m not that smart.
One crisp morning I found myself horseless with rope burned hands and waving good bye to my red mare as she galloped out the farm gate and headed down the road. She had about a mile gallop before she would reach the main streets of Plano, TX. The farm owner picked me up and we headed down the road to once again fetch my Polish bred horse. We finally reached the first main intersection and there she was standing self tied. While she was running down the road the cotton lead rope had fallen off of her neck and attached itself over and over again to the velcro of the Dover Deluxe shipping boots she was wearing. The rope was so short that her head was basically velcroed between her front legs and the chain was pulling on her nose. She stood patiently because she could not lift her head to find a good escape route! She had caught herself. Score!
So, thank you Dover for selling me a fat cotton lead rope, nose chain, deluxe shipping boots and most likely charging way too much for shipping. My horse caught herself.
I would also like to add that my very first post on COTH (early 2000s) was on the thread asking “what your tomb stone would say” when you died. I posted that mine would say, “my horse was made in Poland”.


We always have a mini donkey on our property because donkeys run off stray dogs and varmits. Though donkeys are great for protecting the farm they are also great at being annoying. I’m pretty sure all donkeys have the same think tank so I’m going to guess that my donkey catching method works across the board.
Unfortunately, I spend a lot of time running postal towards our donkey with a lunge whip because he always goes where he knows he should not (e.g. into the barn, into the garage, into the trailer). Because of this he’s not always keen on letting me catch him. Well, I have found that like me, donkeys will do the same stupid thing over an over. What is the definition of insanity? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Yes, I think donkeys are insane. Our donkey likes to stick his head in the mounting block (Home Depot foot stool). Yup, he sticks his whole head in the foot stool and then once captured he either walks very slowly with a drunk stagger or just stands looking stupid. I have found that when I need to catch him all I need to do is put out a few of our mounting blocks and wait about five minutes. Once the foot stool has caught him it’s very easy for me to swoop in and act like the savior…with a tube of wormer or vaccinations in my hand. So, thank you Home Depot for making a foot stool just the right size to catch a mini donkey’s head.


I love fudge pops. In the summer it’s pretty hot around here and I find a fudge pop stocked freezer is mandatory. One particular hot stuffy day in Azle, Tx I had the opportunity to watch my grey thoroughbred run around the farm fully tacked with reins flapping in the wind. I will spare the details of this unfortunate occurrence but I should add that my breeches were torn from knee to hip by way of the barbed wire fence and my dressage whip was somewhere out in the middle of the field. Come to think of it, I never did find that dressage whip.
There was no catching this horse. So instead of worrying about him I went into my house, grabbed a fudge pop and sat down on a muck tub by the barn to wait out the galloping fiasco. Each time the grey horse would run by me with his sh*t eatin grin I would yell, “keep your head up you dumb a$$,” because the reins were flapping in front of his thundering hooves. Well, eventually his luck ran out and he lowered his neck—at which time he jumped roped through his reins. Nope, the reins didn’t break, but the action did pull his entire bridle through his mouth and his bit was now hanging cattywompus near his left eyeball. He stopped under an oak tree (we live on a tree farm), looked around, and began eating acorns. He LOVES acorns. Once I finished my fudge pop I hopped up, walked calmly over to him and lead him back to the barn. I was fairly annoyed but not angry, so instead of yelling at him (which would have not done any good anyway) I made him stand with a cone on his head. Yup, this is how the cone head picture came to existence. Without that fudge pop I would have been blowing smoke out of my ears and bleeding fury through my aura and most likely the grey horse would have taken one smell of me and run off again. So, thank you fudge pops for being so tasty in the hot Texas summer. Oh fudge pops how you sooth my soul.


Scent of a Mule is my favorite Phish song. But don’t worry, I will not ask you to smell my mule or fire laser beams at your head unless you name is Kitty Malone. Yes, you guessed it, we have a mule too. Please do not forget these animals are one half ass and they act accordingly so. The half ass is hard to catch all the time for no particular reason. Not to worry friends because it seems as though mini donkeys are programmed with an ass catching setting!
When I need to catch the half ass I just let the mini sized full ass out with the horses and bingo! Mini Me trots ecstatically towards his jack eared counter part and either latches on to his tail bone or sticks his nose up the ass’ butt and holds on like a piranha. Problem solved. I just wait by a tree or around the corner of the barn for the mule to walk by and reach out to grab him. You see, with a little black Mini Me hanging off of his rump it’s hard to concentrate on running from humans! So, thank you God for the creation of the mini ass.


I’m new to the southern hospitality of cow ponies but I can image they all have the same Baptist good old boy upbringing. I think they all speak with a twang and use generic phrases such as, “yes ma’am”, “no ma’am”, “thankya ma’am”, “ya’ll”, and “all ya’ll”. I’m not sure what the intelligence level of these horses is but Toby (our cow pony) is pretty easy to catch. His feed bucket nearly always catches him but everyone already knows that trick.
I have found that the next best way to catch a cow pony is to let his water hole run dry. I did this one time and that darn cow pony stood by his water hole for hours. He could have walked over to the other trough—which was full--, but I guess that’s not the southern way. He wanted water in HIS hole. The auto ground tie was convenient because I needed to catch him anyway. So, thank you sun, for making our cow pony’s water hole run dry thus making the task of catching the cow pony easy as southern pecan pie.

This marks the conclusion of my Five Ways to Catch an Equine blog. I hope it will be helpful for someone in the future. Please note also that I not only illustrated 5 different catching techniques, but I also used five different types of equines.

1. Polish
2. Donkey
3. Thoroughbred
4. Mule
5. Cow Pony

Thanks for reading, and please let this ice melt soon so that I can get back to work and riding!

Cow Pony Chronicles Part I

Friday, January 21, 2011

Cow Pony Extraordinaire, [aka Toby] speaking.
I have not always been known as the amazing and stupendous cow pony, Tobys Lynx, I started as merely Toby the dumb trail horse. Little did my human family know I have been keeping my excellence a secret. I started my education with some cowboys in the early 2000s. These cowboys tried to make me a “header”, which in Neanderthal terms is [the horse that runs out of the gate first], and chases after a poor little cow. Those cowboys were two shakes away from dragging their knuckles on the ground and beating each other with cave-man clubs and I am NOT a usual APHA (American Paint Horse AWESOMENESS), I prefer to surround myself with intellect. I had no interest in this job so I ran very slow, kept my distance from the cows, and spooked every time the gate popped open. Problem solved.

Because of my winning cow horse attitude I was sold to a farm in Krum, Tx and left in a pasture with no job—this is when the Weekes family came to visit me. There is Cheryl and Tommy Weekes and then this other human named Kristen; she seemed to be the alpha of the herd. She looked over me with a fine tooth comb—stared me down with her hand on her chin and never smiled. When she rode me she bounced all around and kicked my sides, shoulders and flanks like she had no idea how to balance a top of an equine. I really had no idea what she was doing so I continued to trot along with little energy and taking very small flat steps as not to make her fall off. After each human in the herd rode me they talked secretly among themselves glancing over occasionally-- I was sure to always look at them with the sweetest puppy dog eyes I could dish out. To tell you the truth, the entire test was rather nerve racking. I guess I passed because a day later I was taken to a big establishment called Reata Equine Hospital where a doctor poked me, tweaked my legs and made me jog on concrete. Not my favorite experience but the day ended with a big bucket of alfalfa pellets, a 2 acre pasture with grass up to my knees, a round bale and new pasture buddy named Boomer.

Me and Boomer

I enjoyed Boomer for the most part. He was a little overly active and enthusiastic for my taste but his company was better than having no pasture buddy at all. He was not the brightest light on the tree but he was good for testing out the electric fence strength. Ok I’ll say it, what a dumb equine. The guy can’t even run and play without getting tangled in his own 4 legs. When I was bored I would ask him to race, which of course always excited him but I kept my distance just in case he tripped and wiped out, which he did occasionally to my amusement. Very often the alpha human [Kristen] would come to fetch him, see his new bruises and cuts and say very bad words before dragging him off to the barn. It was actually quite funny and I would stand in the corner under the oak trees pretending I had nothing to do with it.

Soon thereafter a new equine moved in…well, I thought he was an equine. His name was Coppertop and he had great big ears like a jack bunny but he was too big to be a donkey. I heard Kristen call him a "silly mule” one time so I figured he was neither donkey nor equine, but as stated, a silly mule [to me, aka: dumb equine with bunny ears]. I enjoyed the new arrival because he kept Boomer company and I was left to snooze and eat in peace. Those two would play “gladiator” all day. Copper the silly mule would pretend his great big bunny ears were bull horns and try to tackle that dumb grey equine down to the ground. I stood by the round bale and watched them play day after day thus [according to Kristen] becoming, “the lazy trail horse that loves to eat”. I would often hear the humans talking to their friends; they would mockingly call me the “best horse on the farm because all I do is wait by my feed bucket all day long”. Humph. Well little did they know I figured out that when I would wait at my bucket they would bring me food! Sometimes it would take them all day long though. If I did something intentionally stupid such as getting my foot stuck in the fence they would often come to feed me early. For all of my equine friends, please note humans are easy to train.

Cheryl is my keeper and she is a wonderful, loving human. She feeds me cookies and rides me just for fun. Kristen told me that my job was to trot as slowly as possible with my neck low to make the ride very comfortable for Cheryl. I had no problems with this--what an easy life! Poor Boomer has to work his rear end off at least 5 days a week. I would feel sorry for him except he's dumb and seems to love slave labor. Though every once in a while that mean alpha Kristen would ride me and make me do a lot of really hard patterns. I figured out quickly that if I acted stupid she would ask very little of me and then give me lots of hugs and cookies when I did something correctly, such as picking up my right lead at the canter. I liked to pretend I didn't know how to execute very remedial commands (e.g. canter leads) so that I didn't need to work hard for my hugs and cookies.

~Fast forward to now~

I have been living at Fortnight Ranch for the past 6 years and for some reason I have suddenly become the center of attention! The work is OK but I love the pampering most of all. I'm groomed and hugged every day now. I also get more food at night! Kristen and Cheryl still have no clue that I know exactly what I’m doing and I will keep it that way as long as possible. The less I have to work and the easier it is for me to win cookies and the happier I am.
I’ve been jumping a few times now as well. Not sure I love the sport but it seems amusing enough. I do struggle with what Kristen calls “DK time” or the “DQ arena”. I’m not really sure what the abbreviation is short for but whenever we go to the DQ arena (or the sand pit as well equines call it) I end up doing very controlled hard work. I have watched Boomer for so many years working in the sand pit so I already know how to do all of the “DQ” stuff. But again, I can’t let Kristen know that therefore every so often I pretend to be confused and piaffe in place for my own amusement. That's right everyone, I'm so awesome I know how to piaffe. I also like to spice up the ride by pretending I'm going to lay down and roll. Kristen loves that trick--she yells, I laugh.

Kristen body clipped me so that I would not be hot during work outs. I had secretly wished that she would have left a lightning bolt or a Nike sign on my side because I’m so fast. Oh it’s OK, no worries, I can talk about my super speed because I blew my cover the other day. I went racing with Boomer and I smoked his grey butt. Kristen and Tommy saw it, gosh darn; I didn’t realize anyone was watching! I need to plan my awesomeness more carefully and only show off during the day when the human group is at work.

I actually really enjoy jumping. Kristen didn’t think I was going to be athletic enough to jump well though. OK humans, listen up, just because I talk slow doesn’t mean that I’m stupid. Did you know that a bovine can jump a four foot fence from a stand still? They can. It’s true. Furthermore, have you ever seen an athletic looking cow? Most likely not-- because there is nothing athletic looking about cows.
fat, unathletic cow

I know this because I was forced to chase the odd creatures at the beginning of my riding career. Actually I think Boomer may be of the same intelligence level as a bovine. Oh that was mean. My bad. I apologize for my rudeness. I think cows may actually be smarter than that dumb grey over achieving jock. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, cows. So, here we have an animal with no athleticism and complete lack of ability to bascule over a fence yet it can clear four feet with ease. And Kristen thinks I’m not athletic enough to jump? Give me a break. The good thing about Kristen’s way of thinking (or lack of knowledge of my APH-AWESOMENESS and inability to pick out a superstar) is when she takes me to practice over jumps a very small feat on my part gets me many hugs and cookies. This, as I stated previously, is my goal in life. Easy work = cookies.

I have had the privilege of jumping cross country already! I must say that it is loads of fun. NOT! Do humans not understand that there are evil gnomes and trolls out in the woods and hiding under those wood boxes and logs? And can I just scream, "UM HELLO! SPLINTERS!"? But don't worry, humans are true geniuses and have cut down on the XC jump splinters by covering the jumps with disgusting smelling wood lacker or nappy sticky tar. Way to go smarty pants. Sure, that makes the jumps more inviting.
I know those logs were small but it was really important that I stopped at each one before jumping to check for boogie critters, or if I did not stop to take a quick peak in air before landing.

boogie critters for sure!

Fortunately, Kristen and I were safe and escaped all dangers that may have existed. The jumping ended on a fun note with the banks (Kristen now calls me a bank expert! because I'm so AWESOME at them) but, my word-- talk about taking the joy out of a Sunday nap time!

I will add because of the scary gnomes on the XC course I'm more cautious and appreciate knowing exactly what I’m going to be asked to jump before tackling a course. Please compare me to a great scholar rather than a dumb jock like that grey horse. I prefer to study and prepare myself for tasks rather than just jumping into life unprepared. I’m all about preparation and perfection. If there was a Library of Alexandria for equines, I would most definitely be the keeper. Yes folks, I’m just that smart. I should have been named Divine Comedy.

At my first Combined Test... (warning, shameless brag--where I was in 1st place with a 31 after dressage because of my American Paint Horse AWESOMENESS)~

my awesomeness

...I heard Kristen mention the words “cold turkey” and “might not be quite ready”. I did not understand what she was talking about until we entered the show jumping arena. Can I just say, Oh—My—Gawd, looking at all of those gaits, flowers, planks and boxes made me sick to my belly. I was screaming for some ulcergard! Needless to say our first trip jumping those fences was not my idea of fun. They did not look like something to be jumped but rather decorations at a children’s playground. There were a couple that I needed to check out first [including a large fuzzy green box] to be sure the take-off and landing spots were safe. Remember, I’m not the type of equine that will jump off a cliff just because the funny jockey a top of me tells me it is safe. I’d like to check things out on my own.
Luckily, all looked OK so the 2nd time around I jumped easy and clean and from the reaction of my family (Kristen, Cheryl, and Tommy) one would have thought that I had just resurrected Christ. [Yes people, it is true I’m more athletic than a bovine]. This small feat once again won me many hugs and cookies, which is what my life is dedicated to.

yey me!

Unfortunately because I stopped to check out some of the fences (instead of foolishly throwing my soul into the arms of Aether), I was moved down to 6th place. But this actually works well for my life plan. Next time I’ll jump around without peaking (but maybe knock down one rail) and show them how extraordinary I am and how I have such amazing learning capabilities—which will win me many hugs and cookies I’m sure. Humans are easy to please.

Thank you for reading my 1st APH-AWESOMENESS Chronicle and stay tuned. Kristen has an entire month of torture planned for me. Oh Joy and Rapture.
Yours truly, Toby, cow pony extraordinaire.